You have a setback. A problem. A challenge. You start a business and it goes bust. A job doesn’t work out. You take a big case, invest time and money, and lose.

Bad things are inevitable. The question is, what do you say to yourself when they happen?

Do you say something negative–“What’s wrong with me?” or “Why did I mess up again?”

Tim Ferriss suggests we eliminate negative self-talk by using a technique he learned from Tony Robbins. We should re-frame the question or statement to something positive by asking, “Where is the gift in this?”

Every failure can teach us something useful or lead us to something better. We need to condition ourselves to expect that.

Ferriss told the story about launching one of this books under the Amazon publishing label only to have major bookstores, distributors, and other outlets refuse to carry it because it was under the Amazon label. He fell into a funk and for the next couple of years starting questioning himself.

It was that fallow period that led him to start his podcast, which, he says, has brought him far more exposure and opportunities.

So now, when bad things happen, he looks for the gift. More often than not, he finds it.

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