It’s okay to break the chain

June 28, 2024 by
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Don’t break the chain is a mantra about building habits by steadfastly refusing to miss a day or week or whatever schedule you commit to. It was popularized by Jerry Seinfeld who, at the beginning of his career, committed to writing at least one new joke every day, followed by making a big X for his wall calendar. Those check marks formed a chain, giving rise to the statement, “Don’t break the chain”. 

Good advice. We build habits by what we repeatedly do and being accountable to doing them makes it more likely we will.

The problem is, Seinfeld has denied saying this or even doing it. No matter, it’s still good advice. When we’re tired or busy and don’t feel like doing the task, reminding yourself to not break the chain can help you maintain the habit.

I do it with my writing. Every week day, I write and post an article. I’ve been doing that now for several years and I’m glad I do.

But I’ve also broken the chain. 

When I do, sometimes, I re-post something I wrote and published in the past. Sometimes, I don’t. Because I know that if I miss a day (and break the chain), I can just start again (and I do). 

You can, too. 

If you miss a day or week of writing, hitting the gym, calling a prospect or client, or depositing money in your precious metals saving account, it’s not the end of the world. 

Just start again. 

What’s important isn’t having a perfect record. It’s that if you miss, you care enough to start again.

Your intention counts. If you regret missing a day, the habit still exists. If you don’t at least think about missing the day, you weren’t serious about making it a habit. 

Don’t beat yourself up when you miss. Just start again.

New day, new chain. 

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When good habits go bad

May 10, 2022 by
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You’ve got a morning routine to start your day and another for shutting down in the evening. A routine for opening new files and a routine for closing them. A routine for interviewing new clients, writing articles, and posting on social. 

You do them the same way every day, and those routines serve you well. They save you time because you don’t have to think about what to do or how to do it.  

You just do it. 

And because you do it over and over again, you get better at it. 

But the strength of your routines and habits is also their weakness. 

When we do things repeatedly, without thinking, we typically don’t look for ways to improve what we’re doing. If what we’re doing is working, why should we? 

We should because the world changes. There are new tools and processes that can help us do things faster or better. 

And because we change—we’re not the same person we were when we started the routine or acquired the habit. 

Which is why we should periodically review our habits and routines and look for ways to improve them. 

I did that recently when I started my day re-writing my digital task list on paper, in order to be more mindful about what I was doing. I only did it for a few days before realizing I didn’t like it or need it, but I learned something about what I was putting on my list and changed it. 

I realized I was trying to fill my day with too many tasks and was often left scrambling to finish them or disappointed that I hadn’t. I put fewer tasks on my list now and have more time and energy to do important things. 

I may not have realized what I was doing had I not experimented with re-writing my list. 

I regularly try different apps, tools, and websites. I get lots of ideas that way. Sometimes, I find a better tool than the one I’ve been using and replace it.

Trying new things can also be fun. We are curious creatures and enjoy novelty. It makes the world a more interesting place. 

Yes, trying new things can also be a distraction from doing our work. But who says all distractions are bad?

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3 things that make habits sticky

February 8, 2021 by
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Writing my blog post/newsletter is a well-established habit for me. I’ve been doing it for years and never have to remind myself, it’s just something I sit down and do.

It’s a sticky habit.

I have another habit that was sticky but has come unstuck.

For a long time, I took a walk 6 days per week. Then I missed several days and had trouble getting back to it.

I’m back to doing a short walk a few days per week, but I want to work my way back to my regular schedule.

James Clear, author of the best-selling Atomic Habits, tells us there are three things that help habits stick:

1) Repetition. Habits form based on frequency, not time.

2) Stable context. If the context is always changing, so is the behavior. You need a reliable environment.

3) Positive emotions. If it feels good, you’ll want to repeat it.

My thoughts:

1) Repetition

I started writing my blog/newsletter once a week. I increased this to thrice weekly, and for several years now, I write a post every weekday.

Repetition clearly made a difference.

What really got this habit to stick, however, was announcing my schedule to the world.

The world held me accountable.

Even today, when I might feel like taking the day off from writing, knowing there are people waiting to hear from me keeps me on schedule.

2) Stable context

The main issue with my walks is the weather. When it’s cold, it’s harder to get out the door, especially in the morning.

My context isn’t stable.

The solution might be as simple as getting warmer clothes, sweatpants and sweatshirt, instead of the shorts and t-shirts I usually wear.

3) Positive emotions

I enjoy writing my newsletter. I also enjoy the results it brings me.

I enjoy my walks. I get exercise, time to think and time to dictate notes.

So, how about you? Are your (positive) habits sticky? If not, now you know what to do.

Ready to up your marketing game? Here’s how

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How to make marketing a habit

September 30, 2020 by
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A lawyer wrote and said the things he’s learned from me “really work and I see results in a very short time.”

That’s good.

He mentioned his email newsletter and said, “unfortunately, it is not yet a habit.”

I told him to commit to writing once a week and put it on his calendar.

Simple. But does it solve his problem?

Note, he didn’t say he doesn’t have time or he’s not a good writer or he doesn’t know what to write about. Those are different problems, with different solutions.

As for habits, there are countless books, articles, videos, and courses that explain the psychology and present strategies and much of it is useful.

But no strategy works if you don’t use it.

And keep using it.

Which means making it a habit, which leads us back to where we started.

My advice?

You either want to write a weekly newsletter (or create any other habit) or you don’t.

If you don’t want to do it, you won’t do it. You’ll never start or you’ll start and stop. Or force yourself to do it, be miserable, and then stop.

If you want to do it, however, you’ll do it, and you won’t have to depend on strategies or tricks or willpower.

Much better, yes?

There are many strategies that can help you start, and starting is the most important part. I encourage you to do that. You might find you like it after all.

Try lots of things. And variations. If you don’t want to write a weekly newsletter, write one every other week. Or don’t write a newsletter the way others write newsletters, share your thoughts in a few paragraphs and call it a day.

Give things a reasonable tryout. If they don’t make the cut, bench them and try something else.

The good news is you only need one. You can build a massively successful practice with just one marketing strategy.

Don’t listen to all the goo-roos who say otherwise. Just listen to yourself.

How to build a successful email newsletter

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Filed Under: Marketing legal services, Marketing Plan, Newsletters Tagged With:

Tiny habits — for the win

September 21, 2020 by
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I haven’t read BJ Fogg’s best selling book, Tiny Habits, but was intrigued by a quote from it:

“Celebrating a win–no matter how tiny–will quickly lead to more wins”.

Reading the sales page and some reviews told me the premise–that we can effect great change in our lives by making small changes to what we (repeatedly) do–our habits–and when we celebrate our “wins,” it leads to more of the same.

Ostensibly, that’s because it triggers the release of dopamine, causing us to crave more of the same.

We feel good so we repeat the behavior.

Which is, of course, what happens each time we check a task on our list as “done”.

What areas of your life would you like to improve? What are some tiny habits that will help you do that?

If you’re trying to improve your health, tiny habits might include drinking more water, walking 3 days a week, and eating smaller portions of food.

If you’re working on building your practice, your habits might be to write a blog post or newsletter article once a week, check in with 1 professional contact each week, and to smile more when you’re speaking to someone (on camera, etc.)

Okay. You’ve identified some habits you want to develop. How do you celebrate your wins?

A few ideas:

  • Chart them. Every time you do them successfully, note this on your calendar or in an app.
  • Congratulate yourself. Just say, “Well done” or “I did it again”.
  • Write about it in your journal.
  • Share your progress with your spouse or workout partner.

It might help to gamify it. “If I walk around the block 3 times per week for 90 days, I’ll treat myself to a new [toy of your choice].

What tiny habits do you want to develop? And how will you celebrate your wins?

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5 keys to creating a new habit

July 24, 2019 by
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Let’s say you want to get in shape. For exercise, you’ve chosen walking. You want to make this a habit and stick with it long enough to see results.

Here are 5 things you can do:

  • Choose a goal you know you can meet

You’re trying to create a new habit, not set any records, so your initial goal should be something you are almost certain you can achieve.

Walk three days a week, for example, for 10 or 15 minutes.

Establish the habit first. Once you’re done that, you can increase your target or goal. That’s how I started my walking habit.

  • Commit to a fixed period of time

Some studies show it takes 21 days to establish a new habit. Other studies say it’s 66 days. Choose a period of time, in advance, and commit to it.

  • Make it visible

Put your planned activities on your calendar. Use an app to receive a daily prompt. Put sticky notes on your computer.

Keep the habit in front of your face where you will see it often.

  • Document your progress

Check off each day you complete your activity. You can do this on your calendar or in a “habit-tracking” app.

Once you’ve started, don’t break the chain.

  • Get a workout partner or accountability partner

Find someone who wants to do what you’re planning to do and do it together. Or, check-in at the end of each day or week to share your progress.

Another option is to announce your new habit/goal to someone who will hold you accountable if you don’t stick with it. A spouse, a child, someone at work.

One more thing.

If you find yourself missing a day or breaking the chain, don’t beat yourself up, just start again. I’ve had to do it, more than once.

It’s okay.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and a good day to start (or re-start) a habit.

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Keystone habits for the win

September 24, 2018 by
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Charles Duhigg, author of “The Power of Habit,” talked about “keystone habits”. These are habits that tend to lead to other good habits and behaviors.

Exercise is an example of a keystone habit. Duhigg said,

“Typically, people who exercise start eating better and becoming more productive at work. They smoke less and show more patience with colleagues and family. They use their credit cards less frequently and say they feel less stressed. Exercise is a keystone habit that triggers widespread change.”

Other keystone habits might include meditation or prayer, reading personal development books for 30 minutes daily, writing in a journal, getting more sleep or learning a new skill.

Marketing is a keystone habit. Writing a weekly email to your clients and prospects, for example, can not only bring in more business, it can also improve your presentations, help you develop more content (and better content) for your website, and improve your conversational skills.

You don’t have to change every habit to achieve your goals. Focus on developing a few keystone habits that will allow you to create a wave of successful outcomes in your work or personal life.

Start by identifying one keystone habit and working on it every day. If you’ve chosen well, one small change in what you do or how you do it can cause a trickle-down effect and generate a plethora of positive outcomes.

Keystone habit: teaching clients how to identify your ideal client and refer them

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What’s all the fuss about habits?

August 31, 2018 by
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Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” Your value isn’t determined by what you know it’s determined by what you do.

All the little things you do or don’t do cumulate, compound, and create who you are. They also determine what you achieve.

One author put it this way: “You are at this point in your life because of the way you have treated every ‘today’ for decades. You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.”

If you keep some kind of journal, you might start tracking your habits. Write down the things you do (and fail to do) during the course of your day.

Some habits are good. Some are bad. And some are neither good nor bad, except for the fact that they use time and energy that might be used for something else.

Note your good habits and look for ways to do them more often or for longer periods of time. Look for ways to improve the way you do them and, therefore, the results they bring.

Note your bad habits and look for ways to eliminate them, do them less often, or neutralize them by changing them in some way.

Note your habits that are neither good nor bad. The potential time-wasters. Look for ways to do them less often or for shorter periods of time, and find positive habits to replace them.

Because you are what you repeatedly do.

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Is your cat too thin?

August 27, 2018 by
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The last time my daughter was in town she commented on how much weight our cat had lost. My wife and I didn’t see it. Maybe he was a little thinner but not that much.

But we were wrong. Our vet confirmed that the cat had lost too much weight. (Change of food and other measures and he’s back to normal now.)

Why was our daughter able to see that the cat had was too thin and we couldn’t? We couldn’t see his gradual loss of weight because we saw him every day and our daughter didn’t.

We were too close and couldn’t see what was right in front of us.

I want to make the case for periodically taking a step back from your routines and changing up what you do. When you interview a new client, for example, instead of following the same checklist in the same order, mix it up. Ask the questions in a different order or ask different questions.

You may be surprised at what you find.

The same goes for anything you do habitually. Your exercise routine, the way you do research, the way you arrange your desk or the desktop on your computer.

When you always do the same things, and you always do them the same way, you can get stale and miss things.

Change your routines. Change the people you hang out with. Change the way you drive to work.

Change your perspective and you may see things you no longer see (or have never seen).

Your cat’s health may depend on it.

Change your marketing habits

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Sometimes, you’ve got to break the chain

July 11, 2018 by
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Routines are a good thing. You always know what you’re going to do and by doing it regularly, you get good at it.

Exercise, taking your vitamins, drinking water–check. Reviewing your todo list and calendar in the evening to prepare for the following day–check. Opening a file, preparing a pleading, posting to your blog–all made easier because your routine helps you do them without a lot of extra thought or effort.

I have an app I use to record my daily walks. I check off the days I’ve done them (and record my steps in another app), because I don’t want to break the chain. (Search: “Seinfeld, don’t break the chain” if you’re not familiar with the concept.)

Last week it was hotter than Hades. Even early in the morning. I missed a day’s walk. Then I missed another.

I broke the friggin chain! (Don’t worry, I started a new one. All is well.)

I’m walking earlier now. BC (before coffee) if you can believe it. I see a different crowd of walkers, runners, and dogs, the light is different, it’s quieter, and I get my walk done early. I seem to have more day.

It’s too soon to tell for certain but walking earlier may be a game changer for me. I probably wouldn’t have done it if the weather hadn’t forced me to.

Anyway, I got to thinking that sometimes, we should intentionally change our routines. Just for the hell of it. A new routine provides fresh stimuli for our brain. It can lead to ideas and improvements. It keeps things fresh.

I’ve never been a morning person. Never started my day without coffee. If I can do this, who knows what I can accomplish.

Do you know any professionals? Here’s how to get them to send you business

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