You messed up. You’re not making progress on a project or goal. You can’t seem to stick with your diet or stop doom scrolling on your phone. 

You’re frustrated and want to give up. 

Do it. Giving up might be the answer. This might have been a bad time to start. You didn’t have enough information, or you were busy with other things you also need to do. 

Give yourself permission to quit. You’ve given up on things before, haven’t you? Dropped a case or client or moved a project to “someday/maybe”? Walked away from a relationship or let go of employees?

Maybe you’ve changed careers. Maybe you’ve done that more than once. 

It wasn’t the end of the world. It might have been the best decision you ever made.

It doesn’t matter how much time or money you’ve put into something. Quitting is a viable option.

But before you quit, consider starting again. You started the project for a reason. Maybe that reason still exists. 

Take a break and come back to the project or goal with fresh eyes. Things might be different this time.

That’s how life works, isn’t it? You try something and when it doesn’t work, you try again. There are no rules that say you can’t. So, let it go for a few days or weeks, or a few hours, and start again. 

You’ll use what you’ve learned and do it better this time. Do more research or get some advice. Put in more time or try a different angle. 

Or you might start from scratch, with a blank page and beginner’s mind. 

How do you know what to do?

The answer might be in your notes, but it is more likely in your stomach. Logic is good, but how you feel is usually better. 

Start again if that feels like the right thing to do. Throw it out and choose something else if it doesn’t. 

You’re good at what you do. You work hard. Your clients love you. So, why do some of your less capable competitors do better than you? 

Does it come down to better marketing? 

That’s a good bet. 

They might have embraced marketing sooner than you did and have more experience. They might use strategies you don’t use or execute them better. They might have better professional contacts or a bigger email list. 

Your clients love you, but maybe their clients love them more and they get a lot more repeat business and referrals. 

Maybe they advertise, and you don’t. Have deeper pockets or a better team of advisors. 

Maybe it is a combination of factors—little things they do or do better than you. 

Or maybe it’s none of the above. Maybe they just got lucky. 

You know what? It doesn’t matter. What matters is what you can do to become more successful. 

I have two suggestions: 

1. Keep trying. Try new ideas, strategies, and methods. And improve things you already do. Get more help, give it more time, invest more money, study, practice, and learn from others. 
2. Relax. Don’t be upset that you’re not as successful as the competition, or that it’s taking you longer. Don’t strain or struggle. Don’t force yourself to do things you aren’t good at or hate. You’ll get there. You’ll find the right combination. Things that make use of your talents and interests and style. 

Success leave clues, not a blueprint.  

We all need one. Someone who tells us what to do, guides us, and keeps us in line. Because we work better and behave better when we do. 

Our teachers and parents did that. Our employers and clients do that now. We might have paid advisors or be guided by colleagues, family or friends. 

There’s always a higher authority. It might be our maker, the rule of law, or our own values or experience. 

Our clients tell us what they want from us. So do our subscribers and followers. We have deadlines; we make promises we are compelled to keep; we have an image to uphold. And it’s all good because without that structure, guidance, or feedback, we might have too many options or too much leeway and find it difficult to stay on our path and achieve our goals.

Don’t begrudge the rules. Precedent, tradition, and common sense make our life more orderly. We might not like being told what to do, but these constraints give us a path to follow and make it more likely that we’ll get what we want. 

When we start a case or new project, we decide what needs to be done and create a plan. We might question that plan, or stray from it, but the case, the client, and the rules give us a foundation to come back to when we do. 

Everyone needs a boss. Especially when we are our own boss. 

Aren’t there exceptions to every rule? Don’t we have free will? Aren’t we better off when we’re different and stand out from the crowd?  

Yes, yes, and yes. 

Which is why we do what Daddy tells us, but not without asking a lot of questions. 

At one of the first network marketing trainings I attended, we were told that the business is a “level playing field,” meaning that anyone can build a big business and be a top earner.

“You can make up in numbers what you lack in skill.”

You might not be the best presenter or have the biggest list, but if you work harder than most, you can accomplish more than most. 

And this is true. In any business or professional practice. 

Someone else might talk to ten prospects and sign up 2. You might not be as good, but you can talk to 50 and sign up 5. 

You might not have their talent or charm, but you can outwork them. 

Is it really as simple as that? Well, look around you at the lawyers who aren’t as good as you, but have bigger offices and bank accounts. 

Wait a minute, maybe they had more money or better connections. They had an advantage you don’t have. 

Also true. Money and connections often do make a big difference. But so does a burning desire and the willingness to work. 

Which is what you bring to the table. 

And why the law business is a level playing field. 

It’s called The Law of Association and tells us we become like the 5 people we associate with most. Think about your best friends and closest business contacts right now. You’re probably close in terms of income, lifestyle, and beliefs. 

If you’re not where you want to be right now, maybe some new friends would help. 

They could:

• Introduce you to their clients, customers, vendors, and resources
• Give you ideas and advice about what you’re doing in business or practice or your new business idea
• Set an example for you to emulate, e.g., how they lead their life or conduct their business
• Expand your income horizons by seeing what they do, what they read, and what they talk about
• Help others see you in a different light—judging you by the (new) company you keep
• Help you solve problems and achieve goals with their skills, knowledge, and experience
• Introduce you to new experiences, e.g., hobbies, travel destinations, restaurants, books, etc.
• Invite you to sit in on their poker game
• Give you someone new to talk to or laugh at your (stale) jokes

And maybe become one of your 5.