“Never Eat Alone” is a best-selling book that makes the case for building your network by inviting other people to accompany you when you go to lunch.

The author makes a good point. But what if I want to eat alone?

What if I want to read or listen to a podcast or just sit quietly and enjoy a meal? What if I’m tired and don’t feel like being “on”? What if I have a ton of work waiting for me and just want a quick sandwich?

And what about those of us who see the value of networking, during lunch or otherwise, but aren’t particularly social? We might handle going to lunch with someone once a week or once a month, but not every day.

Whether you like networking this way and do it all the time, or you do it only occasionally, here’s a suggestion: instead of inviting one person to lunch or coffee, invite two.

Two people you think might be a good fit.

You introduce person A to person B. If they hit it off, they both benefit, and they both have you to thank for introducing them.

And your network grows.

Being a matchmaker is a simple and effective way to network. It’s also a lot easier on you because they do most of the talking.

Marketing is more effective when you know The Formula

You want to promote your services, seminar, or offer. You want podcasters, bloggers, or writers to know about you, mention you, or interview you. You want information about a new market or the key people in it.

Research and direct outreach are your friend. But you may have an even better friend in someone you already know.

You might know someone who knows the host of the podcast that’s perfect for you. You might have a client who has worked with the expert you want to interview for your blog. You might know a consultant, executive, or industry insider who can introduce you to the person who can answer your questions.

Whatever it is you want or need, it might be as close as a phone call, email, or social media post.

The people in your warm market are a resource for you and they should be the first place you turn when you need something. Much better than contacting strangers, which I’m guessing isn’t one of your favorite things to do.

The people you know can provide information, introductions, and referrals. And because they know you, and presumably trust and like you, it shouldn’t be difficult to get their help.

If they can’t help, they might know someone who can.

No matter what’s on your current “want” list, ask yourself, “Who’s in my network who might be able to help?”

Who do I know? Who do they know?

One more thing.

You may not need anything right now, but now would be a good time to connect with people in your network and ask what they need. Information? Introductions? Recommendations? A second opinion?

Let them know you’re available if and when they need help.

It gives you a great excuse to reconnect with your network and paves the way for a future time when you might need something from them.

Email marketing for attorneys

You meet someone new, at a networking function or casually, in person or online. You don’t know what to say to kick things off or to keep the conversation going after the initial hello.

What do you say?

You don’t. You ask questions and let them do most of the talking.

Some folks need a little prompting and asking questions usually does the job.

If you’re at an event, you could ask how they like the program or the last speaker, or if they recommend the chicken or the fish. You could ask something about the schedule. But while these questions may break the ice, they won’t get you very far.

If you want to know something about the other person (and you do), if you want to establish rapport and make a good impression, you should FORM them.

FORM stands for:

• Family
• Occupation
• Recreation
• Motivation

These are the areas to ask about.

In a professional setting, you’ll probably start with Occupation, and that might be all you need to have a fruitful conversation. Ask what they do and at some point they’ll ask what you do. (See my ebook re how to answer that question and what to say after that.)

Family and Recreation are fairly standard areas of conversation. What about Motivation?

Motivation is usually talked about later in a conversation, after you’ve exchanged pleasantries and covered the basics. Motivation is a catch-all for why they do what they do. What are their goals or dreams? What big projects are they working on? What’s in their future?

Sometimes the acronym is FORD—the D is for dreams instead of motivation, but it means the same thing. Here’s a short video that does a great job of explaining how to use FORM (FORD) in conversation.

The next time you meet someone and don’t know what to say, FORM them. Encourage them to tell you all about themselves.

They’ll enjoy meeting you and look forward to your next conversation. You’ll know what they do and what motivates them, and what to ask about the next time you speak or email.

How to sell your legal services in 15 Seconds or LESS

One of the first things you do when starting a new business or professional practice is to make a list of people you know. If it’s been awhile for you, this might be a good exercise to go through again.

Going through your high school, college or law school yearbook, for example, might help you remember people you used to know but haven’t spoken to in years.

Looking at a map might prompt you to recall your days living in another city and remember some people you knew.

Searching online lists of occupations or businesses might prompt you to remember people you know or used to know in those occupations or businesses.

As you remember names, add them to a list to contact in the future. If you remember faces but not the names, put them on a list to track down.

Is this worth the effort? You tell me.

Some people you connect with might have work for you. They might know people who need your help.

Someone might ask you to speak at their event. Someone might want to read your book or see your presentation.

And some might share the link to your website in their newsletter or on their blog, exposing your name and website to thousands of people in your target market.

Saying hello to someone you used to know could lead to dozens or hundreds of new clients for you.

Would that be worth it?

On the other hand, you might get nothing more than the opportunity to talk to some old friends and recall some old times.

Would that be worth it?