Be brief, be brilliant, be gone

September 15, 2014 by
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I just got off of a conference call. Thirty-five minutes intended to inform listeners about exciting new developments in our business.

Fail.

The news is exciting. Very positive developments. Great things lie ahead. The problem is that if you weren’t already aware of that news, the conference call did little to inform or excite you.

There was too much information. It was difficult to follow. That’s bad enough in a meeting with visuals or handouts, but on a conference call, it is the kiss of death. People are dialing in from their car or from the gym or while distracted with other things. Too much information begins to sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher. Everyone tunes out.

There were also too many speakers. That meant extra time for introductions. There was a lot of overlap, with speaker B covering the same information covered by speaker A. It was also obvious that the speakers had not been told how much time they were alloted (or didn’t follow instructions). The host cut off one speaker who spoke too long so the next speaker could be introduced. Ouch.

The call ended with platitudes and hyperbole. Words that were intended to inspire listeners to take action, but simply made listeners (me) cringe.

Unfortunately, these are common issues with meetings and presentations. It’s why people dread going to meetings and find most presentations too long and boring.

Don’t let this happen to you.

For starters, make sure you have a very good reason for conducting a meeting, conference call, or presentation, instead of disseminating the information in some other way. If you decide to go forward, keep these ideas in mind:

1. Be brief. Succinctly present three (no more than five) key points, and organize them so they are easy to understand and easy to remember. Additional details can be made available via a hand out or web page. Have as few speakers as necessary. In a short presentation, one speaker is usually best.

2. Be brilliant. Don’t do an information dump, have a “conversation” with your listeners. Keep the facts to the basics. Talk more about benefits and less about features. Tell a memorable story. Tell them what and how, but mostly why. Leave them wanting more.

3. Be gone. Keep it short, under twenty minutes if possible, and end with a call to action. Tell participants what to do. Avoid hype. Let the benefits in your presentation inspire people to do what you have told them to do.

Be brief, be brilliant, be gone.

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Filed Under: Communication, Presentations, Public Speaking Tagged With:

What to do when people ask you for free advice

September 8, 2014 by
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Do people ever ask you for free advice? Of course they do. So, what do you do about it?

Do you tell them to make an appointment? Give them the speech about “all a lawyer has to sell is his time and advice”? Or do you answer their question and hope you’re not wasting your time?

I have another suggestion. In fact, if you agree with my suggestion, you will no longer dread calls or emails asking legal questions or seeking free advice, you will encourage them.

The next time someone asks for your advice, don’t answer them over the phone or in an email. Write your answer and turn it into a blog post or newsletter article.

Quote the question but omit anything that might identify the questioner. Answer the question by explaining the law and procedure. Describe the options and the criteria for making the best choice. Provide advice in “if/then” terms.

Send a copy or a link to the inquirer and tell them you hope it helps. Tell them to contact you if they would like to talk to you about their specific case or matter or they wish to proceed further. Tell them you would be happy to quote a fee for this work or consultation.

Your post provides the questioner with guidance about what to do. It shows them that if they choose to take the matter further, you have the requisite experience and knowledge to help them. They’re happy because they got some information and advice from an expert. They understand that if they want more from you, they will have to pay for it.

You get a prospective client who is now one step closer to becoming an actual client. If they contact you again, they will almost certainly hire you and pay you.

You also get content for your website or blog that demonstrates your expertise, your thoroughness, and your willingness to help people. That content helps website visitors understand their legal issue and sells them on you and your ability to help them. If you get inquiries about similar issues, you can point people to your “library” of previous answers. That library of content will also attract visitors through search engines and social sharing.

Don’t merely answer questions, leverage those questions to create traffic, build your reputation, build your list, and pre-sell clients on hiring you.

For more on how to create online content, see this.

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Filed Under: Blogging, Client relations, Communication, Leverage, List building, Marketing legal services, Newsletters, Online Marketing, Web traffic

The best advice I can give you about building your law practice

August 28, 2014 by
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Care to guess which of my emails and posts get the most passionate feedback?

It’s not posts about how to do things. It’s not about marketing, productivity, or anything else substantive. The posts that bring the most passionate, emotional feedback are, by far, those that are inspirational.

It’s when I talk about “big picture” themes that apply to all of us human folk. Or when I share something personal about how I’ve changed. The posts that share ideas that make people feel good about themselves and the future.

There’s a lot of bad things happening in the world. People are scared. Hurt. Looking for answers.

We all need a bright spot. We all want to feel hopeful.

That’s where you come in.

When you email your list, post on your blog, or talk to an audience, with everything you do in building your law practice, your number one job is to make people feel good.

When people feel good about themselves and the future, they associate those good feelings with you, the bearer of that good news and those prognostications. They will like you for it and want to continue hearing from you and being around you.

People want to associate with people who promise to lead them towards a better future. That can be you.

This doesn’t mean you can’t scare them with dire warnings. Fear can be very motivating. It doesn’t mean you should no longer try to educate them. Among other reasons, conveying information is important to building your credibility and trustworthiness.

But at the end of the day (speech, article, interview, etc.) give people hope. Let them know they aren’t alone on this journey, you’re right there with them, and things are going to be just fine.

They will never remember what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

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Filed Under: Blogging, Client relations, Communication, Inspiration, Public Speaking, Writing

The best way to end an email

August 26, 2014 by
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What’s the best way to end an email?

The same thing you do at the end of any closing argument, presentation, meeting, pleading, report, blog post, or other persuasive communication.

Tell the reader what to do.

Tell them to buy. Sign up. Click here. Remember these three things. Go here. Do this.

When you tell people what to do, more people do it.

Can’t they decide for themselves? Sure. And they will. You’re not forcing them to do anything, you’re just pointing the way. Instead of leaving things up in the air and asking the reader to figure out what you want, you’re telling them.

And guess what? People want you to tell them. The judge wants to know what you want. The audience wants to know what you’re selling. The client wants to know what you advise. When you tell people what to do, you’re making things easier for them.

Of course somewhere in your opus you should tell them why. You have to back up your call to action with some substance. Tell them how they benefit, why it’s the right decision, what will happen if they don’t.

The call to action doesn’t literally have to be the last thing you say. You could tell them what to do and follow that with a memorable quote, a short story, or additional bullet points in support of your request. But don’t walk off the stage or sign your letter until you’ve told them what to do next.

You’re not in the entertainment business, you’re in the persuasion business. Do your job. Tell people what to do, and why.

Like this:

If you want to get more clients and increase your income, go to this page and buy everything.

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Filed Under: Closing the sale, Communication, Copywriting, Writing Tagged With:

Every lawyer needs to be able to tell these 5 stories

August 8, 2014 by
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When speaking to prospective clients, an audience, interviewers, or professional contacts, you need to be able to tell them about you and what you offer in a way that is interesting and memorable. They should be able to see and understand the people behind the brochure or the web page.

Here are 5 stories you should be prepared to tell that make that possible:

1. Why us

What you do for your clients, the benefits you offer, the kinds of clients you work with, and why someone should hire you instead of other lawyers.

2. Your/your firm’s mission

The big picture about the work you do, your vision for the future.

3. Your personal story

Stories about your past, personal interests, family. The person, not the lawyer, although you can add why you became a lawyer.

4. Client stories

Success stories about people who hired you and received positive results. Have one or two for each practice area/problem and niche market.

5. Partner and/or staff stories

Be prepared to talk about other people in your firm. Clients like to know something about other people who might work with them.

A list of credentials and accomplishments has its place, but to be more effective, talk about people: yourself, your staff, and your clients. Tell stories that show who you are and how you make a difference. Because facts tell, but stories sell.

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Filed Under: Communication, Image, Marketing legal services, Networking, Public Speaking Tagged With:

How to get more clients from your newsletter

July 23, 2014 by
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When I launched my new ebook on Kindle recently I set up an email list for purchasers. If they subscribe, they get tips and other goodies from me related to the subject matter of the book (network marketing recruiting). They get value from me by being on the list. I get a mechanism for promoting my books.

It’s a small list right now, and that’s fine. Sure, I want lots of subscribers, but more than quantity, I want quality.

You should, too.

If you have a large list that’s not producing many inquires for your services (or buying anything else you’re selling or promoting), it’s because you’re focusing on building a list instead of building relationships. Relationships come from delivering value and engaging the people on your list. By finding out what they want to know or do and finding ways to help them.

A list of 50 people who love your content, and you, is worth far more than a list of thousands who barely know who you are.

When I say list I mean email list, not social media connections. On social media, your messages are fleeting. Most people won’t see them. They are public, so anyone might see them, and that makes your posts less intimate and special.

Email, on the other hand, is personal. Even though the same message is sent to many, that message isn’t out in the open for all to see. If someone wants to comment on a social media post, they have to consider that everyone else can see what they say (and who they are). With email, they can remain anonymous to everyone but you.

And with email, you are in control. Your list is yours. Facebook doesn’t determine who does or does not see what you write.

Yesterday, I sent my first email to the new list. I thanked them again for purchasing and told them the price would be going up in a few days, in case they want to let other people know. I encouraged them to leave a review. And then I shared a tip.

I’m starting to build a relationship with my list.

Note that everyone on your list may not be a prospective client for your services. They may have hired you before and not need you again, or never hired you because the crisis has passed. Or they might be a fellow professional who likes what you do. But everyone on your list is a potential referral source.

My list isn’t going to buy my book again, but they can tell many others about it. I’m pretty sure that if I continue to build a relationship with them, that’s exactly what they will do.

If you want to get more clients from your newsletter, get this

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Filed Under: Blogging, Client loyalty, Client relations, Communication, Email, Marketing legal services, Newsletters, Social media marketing

Keep it simple, stupid

July 9, 2014 by
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One of the most valuable skills for any lawyer is the ability to make complicated subjects simple and easy to understand.

Simple communicates. Simple persuades. Simple sells.

KISS or “Keep it simple stupid” is a principle that acknowledges that most systems work best if they are simple rather than complicated. Simplicity is a key goal in design, where the concept originated; unnecessary complexity should be avoided.

If your website is filled with complex documents and analyses, you’re not doing your clients or yourself any favors. The same goes for your ads or marketing documents, speeches and articles. Unless you’re writing for other lawyers, and I would argue that even if you are, your number one goal should be to write simply and plainly.

Robert Louis Stevenson, said, “Don’t write merely to be understood. Write so that you cannot possibly be misunderstood.”

When a prospective client comes to your site, or reads your marketing document, they want to be able to quickly understand your message. Make it easy to read and easy to understand. Use lots of white space, short sentences and paragraphs, and bullet points. Use active verbs and vibrant word pictures. Illustrate your points with relevant stories and examples.

But simple doesn’t necessarily mean less.

When someone has a legal problem and goes shopping for an attorney, they want to see lots of information. Choosing an attorney is a serious undertaking. Most people want to make sure they make the right decision.

When I go shopping for a new product on Amazon, I read everything about the product. All the reviews, too. I’m sure you do, too. Why would anyone do less when shopping for an attorney?

An article on Forbes makes the case that because people are bombarded with too much information today, offering more information “isn’t working like it once did”. The author uses Apple as a paradigm of the “less is more” approach to marketing. Their ads are indeed simple, and I have no doubt they are effective. But selling computers isn’t the same as selling legal services.

Apple can get away with less information because people are familiar with their products and what they do. They see them everywhere. Their friends have them, and rave about them. All the cool people in movies and TV have them. Apple has a well-known reputation and doesn’t need to load up their ads or their website with an abundance of information.

Apple also doesn’t have any competition. Yes, there are many other computers available, but there is only one Apple.

Buying a computer is usually not an emergency situation. Hiring an attorney often is.

Buying a computer isn’t intimidating. It’s fun. I don’t think the same could be said for hiring an attorney.

Lawyers need to keep things simple, but don’t confuse simplicity with paucity. When it comes to marketing legal services, “more is more”.

What to put on your website. Go here.

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Filed Under: Communication, Marketing legal services, Writing

10 Ways for Lawyers to Share and Re-purpose Firm News on Social Media

June 11, 2014 by
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DW: I invite you to read and study this comprehensive guest post by my friend, Mitch Jackson. Mitch is a successful trial lawyer who has used social media extensively to build his practice.
—

Social media is all about sharing good content and helping others. Results come from engaging, caring and providing value. My general rule is that only 20% of my posts on the various platforms are about me or my firm. The other 80% are focused on sharing tips and curating good third party content that helps others.

This article is about the 20%.

Overview

You’ve just settled an interesting case or obtained a favorable verdict. Maybe you’ve even made new case law. Here are 10 ways to share this news or update with your tribe (current and past clients, family, friends, and other followers on social media).

Before we get started, remember that in today’s digital world, we’re all media companies. Producing and sharing good content is now, in my humble opinion, mandatory. It’s also important to understand and appreciate the fact that while content is king, context is everything. Each platform is different (some more than others) so care must be taken to post to your tribe the right way on each platform.

Also make sure to start with a good profile on each social media platform. On the internet, you only have about the average attention span of a goldfish (9 seconds) to capture someone’s attention. Make sure to complete each profile with your picture (not a firm logo) and short interesting bio (not a boring lawyer bio).

Step #1: Website and Blog

Share your good news or update in a properly written blog post. Use effective headings and appropriate keywords. Use a story format and write in your own voice and in a non-legal way. Make the post interesting and easy to read. Increase interaction by always including a picture, graphic or video in your post.

If you’re writing your blog posts like all the other lawyers out there, then you’re probably doing things wrong. Be yourself and unique. Share your art.

If you don’t have a website or blog, this is your first high priority step. Everything is going mobile (smartphones and tablets) so make sure your site is mobile responsive (no exceptions). I’m a big fan of WordPress with Studio Press hosted on WPEngine.

Click here to see how we’ve setup our firm website and communication tips blog.

Step #2: Twitter

Share the catchy heading of your blog post, together with a short description sentence on Twitter. Include the link back to your post. Use a hashtag. Although Twitter allows for 140 characters, try and keep your post to about 120 characters to leave room for people to retweet with comments.

Because pictures attract more attention, add the picture you used in your post to your tweet. If you don’t have a picture, use one of the free or paid online services to grab an image that relates to your story (I like Fotolia). One of my favorite techniques is to download and use the free screenshot service called “Jing” by TechSmith to capture a picture of the top portion of my blog post to use later for posting on the other social platforms.

While you’re thinking of Twitter, take your blog post and break it down into 5-10 snapshots addressing key points and topics contained within your blog. Each snapshot or tweet is worded in its own unique and eye catching way. I use a Word or Google document and keep a list of these mini snapshot tweets for future use.

Sit down at night or early in the morning and use Hootsuite or Buffer to schedule these additional tweets once or twice a day, over the next 5-10 days. Each tweet links back to your original blog post.

Click here to see how I’m using Twitter.

Step #3: Linkedin

Take one or more of the tweets that you have listed in your Word document and share it on Linkedin, linking back to your blog post. Normally I do this in the above step by telling Hootsuite to send out the tweets I schedule to both Twitter and Linkedin.

Click here to see how I’m using Linkedin.

Step #4: Facebook

Again, I take one or more of the tweets I’ve listed in my Word or Google document and re-purpose the language for Facebook. Unlike Twitter, Facebook posts can be longer so I usually add a bit more information in Word before posting with the link back to my blog post.

Images are powerful attention grabbing magnets on Facebook and will result in more interaction, shares and comments. Because of this, make sure to include an image with your post. Rather than allowing the link to my blog post to automatically pull an image back into my Facebook feed, I prefer to upload my own image from the blog post. Doing this will display a larger image in your Facebook post.

I have a personal and business Facebook profile and depending on the nature of the content, I post to each once or twice a day.Click here to see how we’re using Facebook for the firm or here for my personal page.

Step #5: Pinterest

If you’re not using this platform then you’re missing out. Upload the picture or screen shot relating to your blog post and add it to one or more of your Pinterest Boards. Several boards you may want to set up include current news, verdicts and settlements, legal tips, testimonials, videos, photos, podcasts, newsletter, and community service, just to name a few.

After using the content in your Word document to complete the description in Pinterest, make sure to add 3-4 relevant hashtags at the end and also include your blog post link in the source link box. This way, when someone clicks on the picture they will be taken to your linked blog post.

I have both personal and law firm Pinterest sites. Feel free to click on the links to see how I’m using them.

Step #6: Youtube

Video is huge on social media. Within a year of posting our first video (it wasn’t very good but it was a start), we received hundreds of new client inquires and dozens of new cases. I was also featured in various high profile websites, blogs, and even the ABA Journal. Talk about good publicity!

If you haven’t already done so, setup your Youtube channel and start making and posting short 1-3 minute long videos. Also share other interesting videos about your activities and events on your channel. People will relate to you when they learn more about your interests, passions, and even your family.

You don’t need a fancy camera and the process is pretty simple. There are plenty of “how to” resources out there but I think you’ll figure things out once you complete and upload your first couple of videos. Using a lapel mic is key to getting good audio.

By far, the best videos we’ve shared are the ones that do not look like they are professionally shot. For example, one involved me stopping while riding my mountain bike and using my smartphone to shoot a selfie video about why staying healthy will help you be a better trial lawyer. It received a great deal of favorable traction and feedback once shared on all the platforms.

Putting the camera up on a tripod at the office and sharing my take on a breaking news event (called newsjacking) has also resulted in articles on Lawyers.com, national interviews, speaking engagements, and even being mentioned or profiled in more than one book. One bit of advice is to remember to pay attention to your background and how you look, and keep your video short and sweet.

Tip: Here’s a secret most people overlook. There are many services and programs that will allow you get the audio of your video transcribed so that you can use it for a future blog post. Others will allow you to rip the audio from the video which you can then use as a podcast more fully described below.

The key is to keep things interesting and snappy. Don’t be a boring lawyer. Don’t sit behind your desk and sound like bla, bla, bla. When I look back, I’m embarrassed to watch my first dozen videos. But guess what, it was a learning process and in the long run, it’s all good.

Here’s our Youtube channel if you’d like to see the bad and the good.

Step #7: SlideShare

This often overlooked platform is well respected and used successfully by marking pros around the globe. I’ve been neglecting this platform for far too long. This past weekend, I uploaded a new SlideShare about negotiation and within the first 24 hours it had more than 900 views and trended on Twitter and SlideShare. The response was so good that this presentation was then profiled on the SlideShare home page. Two days later, we’re over 2,000 views. The exposure for my firm was huge!

You can and should do the same thing. Think about this for a moment. Everything you do as a lawyer is based upon steps and checklists. Take the material you already have that can help consumers (“10 Things to Know and Do If You’re Arrested” or “6 Steps to a Successful Patent”), create compelling and easy to read PowerPoint slides and then upload them to SlideShare. Take the blog post we’ve been talking about and break it down to a 15-20 slide presentation. Link back to your original blog post.

Here’s how we’re using SlideShare.

Step #8: Podcasts

Podcasts are very popular because mobile technology now allows us to easily listen to podcasts anytime and anyplace. Take your blog post and turn the content into a short 10-20 minute podcast. Start with a snappy and attention grabbing intro and then share your information using your own voice. Use your post as an outline and just share your message from your heart. Close with a call to action referring back to your website or blog.

Interviews are also a great way to expand your sphere of influence. Once you’re up and running, reach out and interview other people who your listeners might find interesting. When you’re done, share the link with your interviewee and he or she will almost always share the interview with their audience. This is a great way to expand your sphere of influence and increase the number of eyeballs to your website, blog and podcasts platforms.

There are plenty of resources our there to help get you started but my one stop “how to” podcast site is Cliff Ravenscraft’s Podcast Answer Man.

Once we add and upload a podcast to our host (we use Libsysn), we share the podcast link back at our original post. We also upload and link to Stitcher, iTunes, and Soundcloud.

Note, once my podcasts are completed and uploaded, I share the unique links of these three platforms to most of the above-mentioned social platforms. The heading and short description is changed from the earlier descriptions and posts. Links are also shared on the original blog post or website page, just in case a visitor would rather listen to the material.

Step #9: Spreecast and Google Hangouts

These live video platforms allow you to have your own internet television station. For me, Spreecast has been an awesome platform that has connected me with interesting and well known people from all around the world. I even had the chance to chat with Katie Couric and later that day, we both made TMZ. How cool is that!

Some of the people I’ve interviewed are New York Times best selling authors and celebrities with 250,000 to 1,000,000 Twitter followers. What do you think happens when they tweet out that they’re going to be on my Spreecast?

You can use these platforms to interview guests about legal topics or approaches. I’d also recommend that you do what I do and, depending on your passion, reach out and interview people associated with your unique interest. Your show may not have anything to do with the law but it will highlight the real you to your audience. This allows people to connect with you and that’s a good thing!

Promote your show on all the platforms well before the event and also afterwards (they’re recorded). Share the event links and embed the video of your interview at your blog and platforms. Many of my Spreecasts will have 1,000 unique views within the first hour or so and several thousand in the first 24 hours. Lifelong friends have been made simply from using this single platform.

As I mentioned in the Youtube section, you may also want to have your interviews transcribed or audio ripped for future use on blogs and podcast. Rarely is there a need to duplicate your efforts!

Here’s my Spreecast page to give you an idea about what I’m talking about.

Step #10: Vine, Instagram and Snapchat

Whether you “get it” or not, young adults are using these platforms and they’re becoming more and more relevant in the business world. Several high profile marketing experts are very keen on the future of these platforms. This in and of itself is good reason to get involved on these channels. Setup accounts and start using these platforms to share legal tips in a fun way.

Take the screenshot image of the blog post and share it on Instagram with a link or reference back to your website or blog. Instagram will not allow you to hyperlink, so that’s why we setup a fun and easy to remember domain we direct viewers to. We tell viewers to visit MyLawyerRocks.com for more informaton 🙂

As an example, here is our Vine account  and you can view our Instagram here.  As of this post, Snapchat does not have a web based browser, so connect with me on the platform to see how we’re using it.

Final Thoughts

The above approach is working very well for me. A single blog post can be shared using the above method over several days or weeks. Whatever works for you is fine. Just take action and get started.

Keep in mind that what’s important on social is the 80% part of the equation. That is, engaging and helping others. However, when I do jump over to the 20% side of things, this is exactly how I do it.

Without a doubt, the best increase in influence and engagement I’ve experienced on the digital platforms have come from my efforts relating to other interests that complement the practice of law. When I blog about a legal theory or explain new statutes or case law, all I usually hear are digital crickets. But when I share a blog or social media post about my passions, family, youth sports, or family trips, the interaction and feedback explodes.

For example, I have a communication tips blog where I share a weekly communication tip. This blog is my passion and I enjoy providing useful ideas to help everyday people communicate more effectively. Over time, trust and rapport is established with people (my tribe) who share a common interest. When my tribe has a legal question or someone needs a lawyer, who do you think they call? Here’s my communication tips blog if you’d like to see what I’m talking about.

Along the same lines, I enjoy trying cases and sharing trial tips. My Google Plus Trial Lawyer Tips Community is one of the platforms I use to expand this interest. Over the past year, the community has grown to over 1,500 members (mostly lawyers) sharing hundreds of outstanding trial tips. Click here to visit or join this community.

Conclusion

Today, smart lawyers use social media to inspire, inform, educate and build new relationships. Hopefully you will use some or all of these ideas to do the same thing. I encourage you to use the different approaches in this article and start incorporating social media into your daily activity to expand your sphere of influence.

But remember one thing. Social is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. Be patient and consistent in your efforts. Be transparent, share your unique art, and good things will happen.

I hope you found this article useful and I look forward to seeing you on the digital platforms!

——-
Mitch Jackson has been a trial lawyer for 28 years and is the 2013 California Litigation Lawyer of the Year (CLAY Award) and 2009 Orange County Trial Lawyer of the Year. When he’s not trying cases, Mitch uses social media to help good attorneys become great trial lawyers and to show everyone (not just lawyers) how to communicate more effectively. His law firm website is JacksonandWilson.com and his communication tips blog is MitchJackson.com

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Filed Under: Blogging, Communication, Guest Posts, Marketing legal services, Newsletters, Online Marketing, Presentations, Social media, Social media marketing, Web traffic Tagged With:

The first step in effecting change is admitting that you need to change

June 10, 2014 by
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Yesterday’s post was about being chronically late. I said that you’re late because you want to be. Being late serves you in some way. You have free will and you can change by choosing to change.

A reader wrote, said he agreed, and asked how he could tell his wife that she’s late because she chooses to be, “without inspiring the death stare”.

Ah, the stare.

The answer: you can’t. I’m guessing that not only does being chronically late serve her in some way, so does being in denial about it.

But maybe not. Maybe she will admit that she’s chronically late. Good. That’s step one. You can’t fix a problem unless you admit you have a problem. You can’t effect change if you don’t admit you need to change.

Perhaps being chronically late is a running joke in your house and she will cop to it. Good. Onto step two.

Step two is admitting you want to do something about it. Does she? Would she like to not always be late?

If she doesn’t want to change things, you aren’t going to get anywhere. Not without a formal intervention, anyway.

If she admits that she would prefer not being late, you have an opening. A place to start.

Now what?

Bring on the expert witnesses.

Don’t offer any advice. The people we are closest to never listen to us. You need “third party” information. Get some articles and books about the subject.

Start with tips (like setting two alarms in the morning, for example). Maybe one of the books or articles will say what I said, that being chronically late is a choice. She won’t listen to you. She might listen to a third party expert.

The other thing you can do is suggest an exercise you heard about (from me; I’m telling you about it now). Sit with her with paper and pen and write a “can do” list. Draw a line down the center of the page. On the left side, she writes down all of the situations where she is commonly late. On the right side, she writes down everything she can think of that she can do about those situations, e.g., setting two alarms in the morning.

Again, this isn’t you offering suggestions. She has to come up with the solutions herself.

Every solution she comes up with reinforces the idea that she is not powerless, there are things she “can do”.

And. . . you haven’t “told” her anything. Because you can’t. That stare is lethal.

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Filed Under: Communication, Personal development Tagged With:

Writing a blog? Don’t forget the lighter fluid and matches

May 21, 2014 by
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Most attorney’s blogs are dull. They are a lifeless recitation of facts that few want to read. So says Kevin O’Keefe, CEO of LexBlog, and I agree.

He suggests adding stories, showing your personality, engaging readers and other bloggers (by citing them), and otherwise putting emotion into your writing.

Also agreed. You need to connect with people and stir things up.

A blog isn’t a law journal, it’s a letter to a friend, made public. It’s your knowledge and experience and personal style brought to life and shared with others in a way that helps them get to know, like, and trust you. It’s a first step towards building relationships with people who can hire you or send you business, and it cannot be done from an ivory tower.

O’Keefe says lawyers are afraid to come out from the shadows because their firm or ethical propriety doesn’t allow it. Or, they are afraid that if they are too transparent, it might be used against them. So they play it safe.

Yes they do.

But it doesn’t have to be that way and O’Keefe cites some examples of lawyers who have put life into their blogs.

But how? How do you surmount your natural tendency to hold back? How do you breathe life into your writing?

You do it in stages.

You write a first draft for your eyes only. You allow yourself to write freely, or badly, and you just let it rip. You write quickly and unabashedly, cursing, ranting, sharing your opinion, and saying whatever comes into your mind. You tell secrets and reveal embarrassing moments. You don’t hold back, you don’t edit, you don’t ponder, you just throw-up on the page.

You write the first draft for you. Anything goes because you are the only one who will ever see what you write.

When you are done, put aside your first draft for a day or three. Get some distance from it. Then, come back and write the second draft.

The second draft is for your reader.

In the second draft, you can put safeties back in place. As you edit, you remove or tone down or add balance to your most incendiary rhetoric. In the first draft, you put in the hot stuff. Now, you take some of it out.

You may find that much of what you wrote can stay, at least in some form. You may discover that what you thought would get you fired or pilloried is actually okay. It was far more dangerous in your imagination. Now, you can see that while it may raise a few eyebrows, nobody is getting hurt.

I can almost promise you that you will see this as some of your best writing, and so will your readers. By opening up this way, you do more than deliver information, you make it come alive. You touch people emotionally, draw them to you, and make them want to hear more.

For your third draft, ask someone to read it and offer feedback. Have them tell you if you went too far or you didn’t go far enough.

To put life in your writing, build a big fire. If you don’t want anyone to see it, let it die down, or go out. You can always start another.

Want more ideas for writing a blog? Get this.

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Filed Under: Blogging, Communication, Writing
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