You meet someone new, at a networking function or casually, in person or online. You don’t know what to say to kick things off or to keep the conversation going after the initial hello.
What do you say?
You don’t. You ask questions and let them do most of the talking.
Some folks need a little prompting and asking questions usually does the job.
If you’re at an event, you could ask how they like the program or the last speaker, or if they recommend the chicken or the fish. You could ask something about the schedule. But while these questions may break the ice, they won’t get you very far.
If you want to know something about the other person (and you do), if you want to establish rapport and make a good impression, you should FORM them.
FORM stands for:
- Family
- Occupation
- Recreation
- Motivation
These are the areas to ask about.
In a professional setting, you’ll probably start with Occupation, and that might be all you need to have a fruitful conversation. Ask what they do and at some point they’ll ask what you do. (See my ebook re how to answer that question and what to say after that.)
Family and Recreation are fairly standard areas of conversation. What about Motivation?
Motivation is usually talked about later in a conversation, after you’ve exchanged pleasantries and covered the basics. Motivation is a catch-all for why they do what they do. What are their goals or dreams? What big projects are they working on? What’s in their future?
Sometimes the acronym is FORD—the D is for dreams instead of motivation, but it means the same thing. Here’s a short video that does a great job of explaining how to use FORM (FORD) in conversation.
The next time you meet someone and don’t know what to say, FORM them. Encourage them to tell you all about themselves.
They’ll enjoy meeting you and look forward to your next conversation. You’ll know what they do and what motivates them, and what to ask about the next time you speak or email.
How to sell your legal services in 15 Seconds or LESS
