I’ve got a legal problem and I need your advice

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A man contacted me with a legal problem. He explained what had happened and asked, “What should I do?”

I said, “You should get our your checkbook and write me a big fat check with lots of zeros in it. In fact, empty your bank account. I’m good at what I do, my advice is extremely valuable, and I don’t work for free. So pay up, bub, or get lost and never darken my doorstep again.”

And then I woke up.

I think it was my subconscious mind reminding me to be nice, explain prospective clients’ options, tell them your policy regarding fees and retainers, and ask them what they wanted to do.

Damn subconscious. What, did it graduate from a seminary? Work for the state bar? Talk to my wife?

I was thinking about this and wondering why I ever bothered to go to law school. I’m not cut out for being nice to people. What was I thinking?

And then I woke up. I realized I wasn’t a lawyer after all, I was having a nightmare about the last few decades and none of it was true.

What a relief. Being a lawyer is hard. You have to talk to people and do things for them and you don’t earn anywhere near what most people think. Law school is a scam!

Can you guess what happened next? Yep, I woke up. Realized it wasn’t a dream, I was an attorney, and I had an email to write and send you. So I got busy and wrote down what you just read.

The point? The point is it’s Friday, most of us didn’t lose our home to a Cat 5 hurricane, we don’t live in Venezuela or North Korea, we have our health, people who love us, work we care about, (and the ability to change anything if we want to), and we all need to lighten up. Have some fun with this thing before it’s over.

My challenge to you: write a semi-silly email (that actually makes a point) and send it to your clients and prospects. Make stuff up. Pretend it’s April Fool’s Day. Write something you would never otherwise write, just to see who’s out there and who’s paying attention.

I promise you, it will be a lot of fun. Especially if you actually send it.

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